


Tides

by lesterlad



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Florida, Fluff, M/M, Moving, theyre in love and doing their best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 21:29:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17129057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesterlad/pseuds/lesterlad
Summary: Dan and Phil moved to Florida without a hitch - adjusting to their new home, though, was a different story.Prompted by lilactreesinwinter - I loved writing this for you!! I hope you like it!





	Tides

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lilactreesinwinter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilactreesinwinter/gifts).



> this is my first published fic!! im so pleased with how this turned out and i hope you all enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it. let me know what you thought :)
> 
> my lovely beta (an irl friend) was a lifesaver throughout this process - when you read this, know that i love you to bits and couldn't have done it without you!

They say moving is one of the most stressful things you can experience in a lifetime. If the last three months were anything to go by, Dan and Phil would most definitely agree. 

As they hauled the last of their boxes into the living room, Phil felt his leg muscles start to go weak.

“I need a break before we unpack, Dan.”

He let the crate he was holding drop a bit too harshly on the ground and followed suit shortly after. The cool hardwood felt amazing on his face, and at that moment, nothing was more comfortable. 

Dan looked over at where his husband unceremoniously collapsed and chuckled as he sat his box down a bit more carefully. 

“Fine by me.”

Phil let his eyes fall shut as the heat from his body slowly soaked into the floorboards beneath him. He pulled his lips into a small smile when he felt a second body sprawl out next to him, but other than that, he had no extra energy to spare.

Dan reached over and pushed the hair out of Phil’s face, smirking at the small grumble of appreciation he got in return. Tiny beads of sweat speckled their faces, and as gross as they were after hours of work, he felt a warm sense of fondness for it. 

This was their forever home. Dan turned over to lie flat on his back and listened to the distant cries of seagulls flying overhead. It actually happened. All those months of planning and tough decision making finally paid off - he was here, stretched across their living room floor, and couldn’t feel prouder. 

“We’re here, Phil,” Dan whispered. A grin grew on his face as he said it, and he repeated it in a sing-songy voice to let the taste of the words linger a little longer.

Phil squinted over at Dan and felt a rush of adoration fill his stomach. Dan’s dimple was making a grand appearance along with that grin he couldn’t get enough of. Curls were sticking to his forehead and his cheeks were flushed from the day’s work - if Phil could feel any of his limbs, he would’ve leaped up and pulled him into the biggest hug imaginable. 

He dragged his arm up far enough to boop him on the nose. That was good enough for now.

“I’m proud of us.” Dan continued. Phil hummed in agreement and let his eyes rest again. Dan really was proud of them. Those sleepless nights they spent searching for the perfect home felt worlds away - so much had happened since then. 

As much as he wanted to bask in their new home together, Phil really did need a minute to decompress, and Dan could tell. He climbed to his feet, placing a small peck on Phil’s forehead as he rose, and took a walk around the main floor of their house. 

It was perfect for them. Their flats in London got progressively larger, their last being nicer than most. Humility never escaped them, but they worked hard for what they had, and what was wrong with enjoying the benefits? 

Moving here was different, though. As Dan traced his finger across the kitchen counter, he recalled the debates they had while searching for what would be the first proper house they purchased together. He loved open floor plans, and Phil wanted something reminiscent of their old apartments. He wanted a contemporary style, and Phil wanted something more boho. Dan cracked a smirk as he thought of the endless calls they made to their poor realtor. 

He hoisted himself up to sit on the granite island and hesitated as the chill bit at his thighs. Sacrifices had to be made in the moving process, and today, he gave up his go-to black jeans for a pair of running shorts. Florida’s heat and humidity were unforgiving and as annoying as it was, it was either the shorts or a heat stroke. 

The iciness dulled beneath him and he let himself settle. Scanning the living room in front of him, Dan began creating new mental checklists for them to finish. Phil was going to hate him, but they needed to at least get their bedroom boxes up the small flight of stairs before it got too late. 

“You alive over there?”

Phil groaned. Despite what his pulse was telling him, he was very dead to the world. 

“Barely.” He whined.

Dan hopped off the counter and shuffled back to where he was lying, this time sitting directly on top of his husband.

“Daaaaan.”

“Yes?” He asked innocently, smirking when he felt Phil wiggle beneath him.

“Let me die in peace.”

Dan snorted and ran his hands up Phil’s back. It was impressive how little he sweat throughout the day compared to the puddle Dan had become. “Not today, babe.”

He climbed off his back and began poking Phil’s sides. When he got another wiggle in response, Dan launched a full-on attack and began tickling Phil until he was rolled over on his back and pushing Dan’s hands away.

“You’re the worst,” Phil sputtered through his laughs. 

Dan grinned down at him and held out his hands.

“Up.”

Phil rolled his eyes and lifted his arms up to meet Dan’s. With a grunt, he pulled himself up and squeaked when he was swiftly wrapped in a tight hug. 

“We did it,” Dan murmured into his neck.

Phil relaxed into the embrace and hugged back just as tight. The stress of moving hadn’t let him fully appreciate what they just accomplished, but as he rested his chin on Dan’s shoulder, the realization finally started to sink in. This was their new beginning. Every struggle they faced brought them here, and despite the aching pain and ever-growing checklists, he was so damn grateful. 

“This is home,” he murmured back, and nothing felt truer at that moment. 

———

Dan gave another quick squeeze before letting go. Calling it a night sounded way too tempting, but it would make tomorrow that much easier if they started unpacking before bed. 

“Let’s get these boxes upstairs, yeah?” 

Phil ran a hand through his hair and nodded begrudgingly. The two spent the next thirty minutes lugging their bedroom boxes up the stairs, and by the time they had accomplished that, Phil was beyond ready for sleep. 

“I’m seriously done now. I can’t feel any of my limbs,” Phil huffed as he flopped face first onto their mattress. Furniture assembly was where they drew the line for this move, and the extra money they paid to have it done professionally beforehand was entirely worth it. 

He heard Dan scoff warmly, followed by footsteps padding into their master bathroom. Phil admired his dedication but didn’t quite get why he was adamant on unpacking so much. He understood that the clutter was a pain, but they had all the time in the world now - why worry?

“Dan!” He called, muffled by the comforter.

“What?” 

“C’mere.” Phil’s energy was seriously wilting, so he hoped Dan would listen. Yelling was not happening again. 

Much to his relief, footsteps shuffled back into their bedroom. 

“Yeah?”

“C’mere,” He repeated, rolling over and holding his arms out. 

“I just want to put a couple more things away,” Dan chuckled. 

Phil frowned. “Can’t it wait?”

“I’m almost done with the first bathroom box,” he said. “Gimme five minutes.”

“Why?” Phil croaked. 

Dan didn’t respond. Boxes upon boxes surrounded their bed, and he couldn’t help but sigh as he felt the weight of the work ahead of them press against his chest. 

“Dan?” Phil asked, sitting up so he could look at him. 

“I just want it to be done, you know? I want to be done with worrying about all of this,” he eventually explained, gesturing to the boxes that sat against the wall. 

Phil nodded. “I get it. We have tomorrow to handle it though, right? We’ve done so much today.”

Dan ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, we do.”

Phil looked at him quizzically. “But?” 

“But,” he teased, “it would save us a lot of work tomorrow if we got more done tonight.”

He let his hand fall from his curls and ran it through Phil’s before walking back into the bathroom. 

Phil sighed in defeat. He didn’t know where Dan had found this burst of energy - they had been up since the crack of dawn meeting the realtor at the office for their keys, and had been unloading moving trucks for what felt like an eternity. 

A yawn overtook him and he rubbed his eyes forcefully. It was definitely time to take his contacts out.

“Was my eye bag in that box?” He questioned. 

Dan, who was arranging their medicine in a vanity drawer, smirked knowingly and reached for the small bag that was resting on the counter.

“You mean this bag?” He teased, swinging it from his finger as he leaned through the doorway. “The bag that was packed away in the box I’ve been emptying?”

He sauntered over to the edge of the bed and dangled the bag in front of Phil’s face. “The box you told me to wait until tomorrow to unpack?”

“Okay, I get it,” Phil laughed, grabbing the bag from his hands. “We need to shower, anyways.”

Dan chuckled and walked toward a box in the corner that had their towels and washcloths. “That we do. You stink.”

“Hey!” Phil blurted. He heard a laugh come from across the room and shook his head as he walked into their bathroom. A steamy shower and minty mouths felt like heaven to them both, and in no time, they were tucked underneath the sheets.

Once he had settled on his side, Dan looked up to see Phil mirroring his position and reaching out to rest a hand on his waist. After all these years, those ice blue eyes still put flutters in his stomach. 

Dan pulled his hand out from under the sheets to brush a strand of damp hair out of Phil’s face and, instead of bringing it back, let his fingers trace the dusting of freckles that had appeared in the sun. Phil hummed contently and brought his own hand up to Dan’s, resting it lightly on his wrist as he continued. 

“You know,” Dan murmured, breaking the comfortable silence. “We’re Americans now.”

Phil huffed out a laugh. “So quick to disown the Queen, are we?”

“Shut up,” he giggled in response. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” Phil sighed. “I do.”

Dan thought for a moment. “Do you think we did the right thing?” he asked hesitantly.

Phil answered immediately. “Absolutely.” He lowered Dan’s hand and brought his own up to run his fingers through wet curls. “We’ve wanted this for a long time.” Dan’s mouth perked up into a small smile as he relaxed into Phil’s touch. 

“Yeah. We have.” Dan agreed. He gazed past Phil and watched the palm trees sway in the wind outside their window. The sounds of their breathing and the ambient ocean waves crashing filled the room.

Phil was already drifting into sleep and Dan could feel his fingers going limp amongst his curls. Gently, Dan brought Phil’s hand back down to the space between them and intertwined their fingers. It was a small reassurance, but it felt so much more like home. 

Their new way of life was going to be quite a culture shock for the both of them; Ormond-By-The Sea was opposite to London in almost every way. It was a drastic change. Dan remembered the adrenaline they lived off during the move and furrowed his brow slightly - the only thing they had to rely on now was time.

No, that wasn’t true. They had each other. 

Dan closed his eyes and pulled himself closer to his sleeping husband. They could do this. 

———

“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty.”

Before Dan could process what was being said to him, a pillow whacked him on the head, jolting him out of sleep.

“Wha-Phil!” Sunlight was pouring through their windows and nearly blinded Dan as he opened his eyes. Across the room, Phil was laughing as he made his way into the bathroom. “We’ve got a busy day ahead of us, babe!” 

Dan groaned and yanked the covers over his face in a feeble attempt to block out the light. “I changed my mind,” he called staunchly. “Let’s take today off.” It was a weak attempt, but the work from yesterday had caught up with him overnight and his muscles were not pleased. 

“What happened to Mr. Let’s-Get-This-Done-As-Soon-As-Possible from last night?” Phil snickered, squeezing toothpaste onto his toothbrush. “You were so enthusiastic!”

“He’s retired,” Dan grumbled as he sat up and stretched. His shoulder was extremely displeased with all the movement, so reluctantly, he brought himself to stand and headed lazily into the bathroom for some ibuprofen. 

Phil smirked at Dan as he wandered in slowly, squinting at the harshness of the artificial lighting. “Should we throw him a retirement party?” Phil asked innocently. Dan poked him in the side as he reached down for the medicine and chuckled at the squeal he got in response. 

“I’m making coffee,” he replied, ignoring Phil’s quip. The bags under his eyes were a deep navy and caffeine was absolutely necessary if he wanted to get through the day. “We packed K-Cups, right?” 

———

The rest of their week consisted of bottomless coffee and endless unboxing. Phil was half convinced they overestimated the storage space once he reached the third linens box, but miraculously, they managed to fit everything rather neatly into their new home. It was exhausting, but the feeling of relief that came once they finished was beyond satisfying. 

“I never want to see a moving box again,” Dan declared as they dragged the remaining cardboard out to the curb. 

“Luckily, we won’t be moving again,” Phil reminded him. “Unless a hurricane destroys the place.” 

“Shut up, we’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know! We’re right on the coast - what if a tsunami comes? Do they get tsunamis here? We should have looked into that.” 

Dan laughed and shoved Phil’s shoulder as they reached the top of the driveway. “I highly doubt tsunamis are a thing here. The real horror is how empty our fridge is.” 

Phil’s stomach grumbled in agreement. Trail mix and takeaways held them over fairly well, and Dan had enjoyed sampling the delivery options nearby, but it was definitely time to buy their own food. 

“True - I’ll get the keys. Where’s the closest supermarket?” Phil asked as he headed inside. 

“Beats me,” Dan called back. He leaned on the hood of their Range Rover and chuckled at the sight of it - his teenage self was obsessed with this car, and there he was, casually leaning on the one he and Phil just bought. It was surreal to see his dreams manifest so accurately.

Dan’s train of thought was cut short by a jumble of keys slamming into his shoulder. 

“Sorry! I thought you would catch them!” Phil laughed as he covered his grin with his hand. It didn’t hurt, but Dan still shot him an offended look when he leaned down to grab them. 

“You didn’t even tell me to catch them!”

“I thought you saw!”

“Babuse at its finest,” Dan muttered, shaking his head. 

A quick search brought them to a supermarket only five minutes away. Phil made a list as Dan drove, but once they walked in and got a cart, their expectations were quickly readjusted. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

No less than fifty different kinds of cereals filled the aisle they walked down. Was that normal? Was every supermarket this extra? 

“I can’t pick. There’s no way I can pick.” Phil muttered as he started scanning the shelves. 

“Just grab some Shreddies.” 

“They don’t have them.”

“You’re kidding.” 

“Check for yourself!”

Sure enough, Dan couldn’t find the cereal anywhere on the aisle. He settled for some Chex and Crunchy Nut and had to practically drag Phil along as he threw a box of Froot Loops into the basket. 

Aside from the overwhelming variety in every department, things seemed to be going smoothly. It wasn’t until they reached the produce that they came across another issue. 

“Is this a good deal?” Phil asked, holding up a carton of raspberries. 

“How much is it?” 

“Uhh, $4.99 I think. What is that, four pounds?”

“I think so? That’s pricey for some berries, shit.” Dan took the carton and furrowed his eyebrows. “There’s barely any berries in here!” 

Phil shrugged and tossed it in anyway, but frowned as he glanced over their almost full cart. “Did we check the prices on anything we grabbed?” 

Dan shook his head. “I didn’t think to. D’you think everything is more expensive here?”

“I guess we’ll find out.” Phil took control of the cart and started towards the front of the store. “It can’t be that bad, right?”

It was that bad. After loading the groceries into the trunk, Phil took the receipt from Dan and stared in shock at their total.

“We spent almost three hundred dollars on food?” Phil cried. Dan laughed and took the receipt back as he started backing out of their spot. 

“Lesson learned. I wasn’t the one who insisted on trying three different kinds of lactose-free ice cream, though,” Dan teased, receiving a slap on the arm in response. 

“Whatever, dip lord. You grabbed half the condiments on the shelf!”

“Don’t dip shame me, you like them too!”

Phil chuckled and turned up the radio a little bit as they drove down A1A. It was unbelievable that the road they lived off of was literally lining the beach; despite protests from Dan, he rolled the window down and smiled as the ocean spray brushed against his cheeks. Gusts of wind left his quiff in ruins and he had to close his eyes to keep the sand from blowing in, but the smell of the ocean was worth it. It was kind of like their experience moving here, Phil figured. 

Soon enough, they made the turn onto their road and left the beach in their rearview mirrors. Phil rolled up his window and turned to his husband, who was already smiling at him.

“What?”

“I’m just happy we’re here.” 

Phil leaned over and rested his head on Dan’s shoulder. 

“Me too.”

———

_Three Weeks Later_

It was still dark out when Dan woke up. He pulled the duvet back slowly, careful to not wake Phil, and got dressed as quietly as possible. Keys in hand, he tiptoed down the stairs, snuck out the front door, and started walking down the street. 

Meditation was always something Dan wanted to do regularly but never found the time to. He practiced sometimes in London; eventually, though, the noise of the city and his mind would snap him out of the mindset and cast it aside for another day. 

He had forgotten about it until last night. Traffic was far from a concern here - why not try again? Sand wasn’t his thing, and there might be joggers on the beach, but if he couldn’t find some inner peace on a relatively deserted shore at sunrise, he wasn’t finding it anywhere. 

Pebbles pushed against the soles of his feet as he continued towards the main road, and Dan took a minute to appreciate the dull ache that came with every step. Shoes seemed unnecessary this morning - he wanted to feel the textures change with every step. It was grounding. 

Once he reached the dunes across A1A, he paused to soak in the shift in the earth beneath him. What he expected to be warm and gritty was instead chilled and soft between his toes. It threw him off, but after a second, he decided this morning sand was much better than afternoon sand. 

Eventually, he made his way down and stopped about ten feet from the rolling ripples of waves that crept up the shore. Where he stood was as good a place as any to meditate, so Dan slowly sank down and sat criss-crossed towards the horizon. 

He wasn’t sure what to do next. Therapists had stressed the importance of “taking moments to clear the mind” countless times - it seemed unfair that they didn’t tell you how. Dan combed the patch of sand next to him with his fingers and hummed quietly. He’d grown comfortable with the constant noise around and within him; settling down in a quiet town was already breaking that familiarity, but it felt good. Refreshing, even - why was taking it to the next level so difficult?

Dan took a shaky breath and looked up. The sun hadn’t risen yet, but the horizon was already lined with deep crimson. Hints of light glowed above it, but beyond that, the night still blanketed the sky. Clusters of stars flickered overhead - it was incredible how many were on display without a city’s light pollution - and Dan tried to pick out a constellation before they got washed away. 

Seagulls screeched as they soared by, snapping him out of his search. Dan took a deep breath, less shaky this time, and closed his eyes - that was another thing to get used to. 

Life really wasn’t all that different here; he and Phil had their own little world together, and even though they planned for everything to shift once they moved, things didn’t feel that new. The town and scenery were new, and mental math was definitely being put to the test in grocery stores, but otherwise, it felt comfortable.

Honestly, he thought it was going to be harder. Article upon article talked about how moving to a new country left you feeling homesick and misplaced until you settled in for a few months, but Dan hadn’t experienced that. Florida had been pinned on their metaphorical vision board for years; achieving that dream together and finding a house that truly fit the both of them was a massive accomplishment that overrode any feelings of homesickness or regret. Sure, there were differences, but this already felt like home. 

More than anything, it felt at home because of Phil. Through every hardship and struggle, Phil had been a constant. Big career decisions, creative roadblocks, depressive episodes, and everything in-between were never something he had to face alone, and he was more than glad to do the same. By far, building this life with Phil was the best decision he’s ever made.

Dan smiled to himself and started to stand. Clear-headedness was overrated - he already had a slice of peace down the road, starfished across their bed. 

———

_Two Months Later_

“I thought we paid that bill last week!”

Dan shook his head and pulled out his phone to check. “I don’t think so,” he murmured. “It’s fine - we can pay it today.”

“Alright.” Phil was driving them back from an appointment with their accountant. It went fine, but Phil was still restless for some reason that Dan didn’t quite get.

“Did we set up automatic billing with the water company? I saw a bill from them yesterday and didn’t even think to double check,” he continued, running his free hand through his hair. 

Dan frowned slightly. “Yeah, we did, remember? It was just a couple days ago. That must have been the confirmation letter.”

“What about the solar? And the car insurance?”

A look over at Phil told Dan all he needed to know - he had an iron grip on the roots of his hair and practically radiated nervous energy. Something else was stirring behind those worried eyes, and it needed to be resolved before Phil sunk into a full-on panic.

“It’s all handled, babe,” Dan reassured. “We’re good, I promise.”

“Are you sure? It feels like something’s missing.” 

He knew something was missing, and it was killing him. It had been months since they’d moved to Florida, and even though Dan was positive that everything had been handled, Phil still felt unsettled. When the feeling first nestled in after they moved, he brushed it off as an adjustment period - of course, things were going to feel weird. Instead of fading, though, it intensified, and it scared the hell out of him. This was supposed to be a sigh of relief after all the hard work they’d done over the years - why was the breath caught in his lungs? 

“I’m sure, Phil. Are you okay?” 

He hit the blinker rather forcefully as they turned onto their street. 

“I don’t know - what are we missing, Dan?” He looked over to his husband with a look of exasperation. 

Dan’s concerned expression turned into one of panic as he glanced back towards the road.

“You’re on the wrong side!” Dan screeched, flinging his arm across the console to grip Phil’s. “Move over!”

Phil snapped his attention back to the road and yanked the wheel to the right, just barely avoiding the mail truck parked ahead of them. He pulled to the curb and put the car in park just before letting his head fall in his hands.

“Fuck,” he gasped into his palms. Dan loosened his grip on Phil’s arm and let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“Let me drive,” Dan said gently. Without another word, Phil opened his door and walked around the car to swap places. As Dan made his way around, he tried to ask what just happened, but was met with stone-cold silence. 

Phil clambered out of the car and raced to the backyard once they pulled in the drive. 

This was clearly far greater than financial stress. Dan turned the car off and locked it as he followed carefully behind his husband, not wanting to push him any further. 

He turned the corner of the house and found Phil sprawled across the grass with his hands resting on his stomach and his eyes shut tight. Without the context of what just happened, it was a peaceful snapshot. 

Phil cracked a glance at the second body spreading out next to him, but other than that, he had no extra energy to spare. 

Dan picked at the grass between them and studied the sky. Twilight was settling in, and the pastels smeared across the sky seemed too light for the moment. He closed his eyes and imagined stars painting the darkness instead. 

Tense silence hovered for a minute before Phil spoke up. 

“Remember when we used to dream about this?”

“What, about itchy grass?”

“You know what I mean.”

He did - they would lie awake in bed for hours and gush over everything Florida could give them that London couldn’t. They used to try to stargaze on their old balcony, but when the clouds weren’t blocking their view, the light pollution diluted the constellations into barely visible specks. It was different here. Even with the muted blush of sunset, you could pick out hints of stars gaining their courage. They’d be on full display in a matter of minutes. 

“Do you want to tell me what’s really going on?” Dan asked quietly. 

Phil let out a slow breath. “I feel weird,” he said flatly. 

That was relatable. “Explain,” Dan encouraged. 

Phil sighed and thought for another minute. 

“You know jigsaw puzzles?”

Dan chuckled. “I’m familiar.”

“Shut up,” Phil mumbled. “I feel like a piece someone shoved in the wrong spot. Like yeah, I fit, but it’s off, you know?”

“Give me an example.”

“I don’t even know how to - it’s just a gut feeling. This morning, I found sand in my shoes, and it felt like the wind was knocked out of me. I know it sounds weird, but everything just feels so unfamiliar,” he explained.

Dan digested that for a moment. “Do you think you’re homesick?”

Phil exhaled and opened his eyes. “I - yeah. I think so.” 

Dan nodded and reached his hand out to gently squeeze Phil’s. “That’s alright. Do you not like it here?” he asked honestly.

“I like it here,” he articulated, “I just don’t know how to settle in. It feels like we’re on an extended vacation and our old flat is back home waiting for us.” 

“I get that.”

Quiet fell over them again. He understood what Phil was feeling - when they had moved from Manchester to London all those years ago, that same emotion had a suffocating hold on him for months. Living like that was draining. 

“You know, this house is just that.” 

“What?”

“It’s just a house,” Dan elaborated. Hopefully, the way he managed through his own dilemma could help Phil, too. “The house, the beach, this town - they’re all just places.”

“Right,” Phil murmured, still not getting it.

“What I’m trying to say,” Dan sighed, “is that our old flats were the same. London was the same. It’s just a place. What we put into those places are what made it home.” 

Phil let that sink in.

“No matter where we are, it’s up to us to make it feel like home. Maybe we’ve been keeping ourselves too busy to focus on that.”

Dan rolled to his side so he could look Phil in the eye. 

“My point is that you’re my forever home. Not this house, not this town, not any other place we could’ve ended up at,” he whispered.

Phil’s eyes started to water, and before Dan could process what was happening, he was being pulled down into the tightest hug.

“You’re a sap,” Phil said lovingly as he held Dan close. For the first time in months, that pit in his stomach had lifted; it felt ridiculous that he hadn’t gone to him earlier. Of course Dan would know exactly how to make him feel better - he probably knew him better than he knew himself. In fact, this conversation proved that. 

Dan grinned and pulled him in tighter. It wasn’t comfy, but he didn’t care - seeing the relief wash over Phil’s face was well worth it.

“You love it,” Dan teased, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“That I do.”

———

_One Week Later_

It was almost dark by the time Phil pulled in. He had a massive list of errands to run that day, and even though Dan kept reminding him to relax, it felt wrong to leave so much unfinished. He found it hard to believe that their roles were switched just a few months ago.

Phil’s legs ached in protest after stepping out of the car - he was getting too old to sit in the same position all day. Stretching as he walked, Phil fumbled for his house key and unlocked the front door to be met by complete darkness. 

“Hello?” 

He stepped tentatively into the entryway. Dan was supposed to be home, right? 

“Upstairs!” 

Phil sighed and smiled at the sound of his voice as he kicked his shoes off. Once he dropped his bags off on the island, Phil climbed the stairs and made his way into the bedroom.

What sat before him was entirely unexpected.

Their bedroom had been entirely transformed. A black checkered duvet cover replaced their new grey one, and the windows had been covered by floor-to-ceiling black curtains. Twinkling fairy lights lined the ceiling and, in the center of the bed, sat Dan, crisscrossed with a plastic bag and his laptop sat next to him. 

“What’s all this?” Phil breathed, still taking the sight in. 

Dan reached for the plastic bag. “I got Indian takeaway, too! All of your favorites. I had to practically beg the restaurant to make the Peshwari naan.” He sat it down on the other side of him and grabbed his laptop. “And I pulled up all of our old favorite anime! I wasn’t sure which one you’d want, but they’re all ready to go - your choice.” He took a breath and paused for a moment. “I just wanted to make things feel more familiar for you. I hope this is alright, we can change it back if you want-”

“Dan.”

Seeing the lengths Dan took to make him feel more at home completely overwhelmed him with emotion. The thought and care that went into this was beyond clear; tiny clothespins held up the fairy lights, it completely bewildered him as to how he found that same duvet, and hell - were those the same candles Dan burned in their first London flat? How could he have gotten this lucky? 

“This is incredible,” he whispered. Tears started pooling at the corners of his eyes, and he brought his hand up quickly to cover his now trembling bottom lip.

“Oh babe, come here.”

Phil rushed into Dan’s outstretched arms and choked out a sob as he was wrapped in a hug. Dan ran his fingers through Phil’s hair and down his back as he cried against his chest - it hurt to see Phil cry like this, but he knew it was a much-needed release. 

After many tears and comforting words, Phil’s breathing finally slowed down. Dan traced designs along his back and closed his eyes.

“You have no idea how much this means to me,” Phil mumbled against his chest. Dan smiled and moved him back so they could see each other. Tear tracks lined Phil’s cheeks, and with the reflection of fairy lights in his eyes and clusters of freckles across his face, Dan was convinced he was in love with a living constellation. 

“You mean the world to me, Phil. This was the least I could do,” Dan replied.

Phil brought Dan’s face to his and kissed him deeply. Dan giggled into his lips and draped his arms around Phil’s neck, letting themselves fall backward onto the bed.

They kissed and laughed together for a while before Phil leaned on the takeaway and jumped up in excitement at the reminder of food. He gave Dan one more chaste kiss and ran to the kitchen to grab drinks and napkins and, much to Dan’s amusement, almost slipped as he did so. 

With full bellies and hearts, the two snuggled under their duvet and watched an old season of Sword Art Online. They leaned against the stacks of pillows Dan insisted on having, Phil being curled up on Dan’s chest and Dan’s arm wrapped securely around his back.

“You know,” Phil said, “you’re my forever home, too.”

Dan brought his gaze down to him and smirked fondly. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. You always have been,” he answered. “You’re stuck with me forever. I love you too much.”

Dan chuckled and planted a peck on his head. “You’re a sap.”

“You love it,” Phil teased, turning his head to face Dan. 

“That I do.”

———

“It’s too early for this.”

“Trust me, babe, you’re gonna thank me,” Dan sang as he grabbed Phil’s hand. Mornings were never their thing, but this was well worth the sacrifice, and Dan knew Phil would agree.

They strolled down their street, hands intertwined. Phil insisted upon wearing flip-flops - Dan’s incessant urging to leave them behind didn’t work, and Dan knew when to pick his battles.

Nobody was on the roads this early, so Dan didn’t hesitate to sprint across A1A when he didn’t see the glare of headlights. Phil was less confident, but followed closely behind anyways. 

Cool sand squished between Dan’s toes (and Phil’s too after Dan side eyed his sandals). Hand in hand, they shuffled down to the waterline and basked in the dim glow of the horizon.

“Wow.”

“I told you.”

Ripples danced across the tops of their feet and reflected the emerging sunrise. Dan took in a deep breath and looked over at his husband; he hoped this helped Phil calm his mind as it did for him.

Phil got lost in a daze as the sun’s rays played along the ocean’s surface. It was comforting to think that it’s the same sun he’s seen his whole life - not everything was different. 

He turned his head and locked eyes with Dan, who had a grin painted across his face that outshined their view.

“This is home,” he murmured, and nothing felt truer at that moment.


End file.
